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Russia Hack

Archives for September 2018

The Four Horsemen of the Preposterous: Brennan, Comey, Simpson, Steele

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The Four Horsemen of the Trump-Russia saga are biblical only in their cunning and stupidity. Each visited his own plague upon us in service to their annointed siren, a haggard old battle axe rejected by the masses. Ye shall know them by their names: Brennan, Comey, Simpson, Steele.

(Left to right: Brennan, Comey, Simpson, Steele)

WAR
Christopher Steele

Behold! A Briton strides ashore, his pen a tool of war

Christopher Steele wrote the seminal document of the Trump-Russia hoax. In his dossier, he collected obvious disinformation through a conga line of professional Kremlin propagandists, and reported it as true. YOU could be forgiven for falling for this, but Steele LED THE RUSSIA DESK AT MI6!

What did we ever do to the Queen to deserve this? And where did Steele get the idea that he should be the arbiter of our elections? Chris, next time you feel a little anxious about an American election, see a therapist and leave us the hell alone.

PESTILENCE
Glenn Simpson

Beware! The rider’s louse shall spoil your house

Glenn Simpson of Fusion GPS has been pestering the planet for decades now. Before hiring Steele to smear Trump, Simpson planted “news” in many of the outlets that you might otherwise be inclined to trust. If you’ve ever read hit pieces smearing anti-corruption crusaders in Venezuela, Russia, or at Planned Parenthood, you may be familiar with his “premium research.”

FAMINE
James Comey

Lo! Doth hunger follow where he go

The former FBI Director proved to be starved of intellect, and now the whole country is wasting away. When his insane counterpart at the CIA originally presented to him the Trump-Russia collusion hypothesis, he hesitated to jump on board. We now know this did not reflect a healthy sense of caution; he literally didn’t know what the hell John Brennan was mumbling about.

Maybe it was coming home every day to five stark raving, vagina-hat-wearing Hillary Clinton zealots, or maybe it was something else. But eventually Comey bought into the whole asinine theory and handed the psychos the levers to the most powerful investigative machinery on the planet. Now he just writes poetry.

DEATH
John Brennan, aka “The Tick”

…and lastly fear this horse’s rear

A corpulent red engorged tick, this communist-voting, sharia-affirming, rainbow-wearing alien drank all the leftist Kool-Aid he could hold until his gal Hillary lost. Then he burst, splattering his poisonous bile across the entire American landscape.

In contrast to most subversives at the point of this spear, Brennan actually believed the preposterous tale and agitated far and wide for it. He held secret meetings with British intelligence chiefs; sent “eyes-only” intelligence packets by courier to Obama; and briefed carefully selected activist congressional Democrats who then leaked to the media.

Since Brennan’s own agency lacked the statutory authority to conduct domestic spying operations on American citizens, he essentially commandeered FBI resources by goading the shell-shocked Comey into doing it. And he lied the whole time about what he knew and what he did.

A lifelong totalitarian sympathizer, nowadays he sits around spouting bromides about democracy like he’s James Madison.

Lo! The horsemen did they come
Be they evil, be they dumb

The Origin of the Kavanaugh Rape Accusation

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Dem Oppo Research Convicts Trump, Kavanaugh Before Trial

  • The Brett Kavanaugh rape accusation originated not from a letter but from a drunken classmate’s 1997 memoir and the smear merchants who unearthed it.

If we’re to learn anything from the FBI’s asinine Trump-Russia probe, it’s this: Democrat Party opposition research campaigns mirror Alice-in-Wonderland’s justice system. Verdict first, trial later.

The Obama administration hucksters began their Russia investigation with a conclusion: Trump is guilty. Since then, they’ve labored to support the opening verdict despite the complete absence of corroborating evidence. One cannot make sense of this abominable proceeding by pretending that Mueller and crew seek the truth. They do not. They seek to validate their opening conclusion, come hell or high comedy.

Likewise, the accusation of rape and attempted murder raised against Brett Kavanaugh, Trump’s cherubic Supreme Court nominee, only makes sense thinking backwards. The moment Trump announced Kavanaugh’s inclusion on the list of potential nominees, the Democrat Party’s demonic, demented opposition research machine declared him guilty and sought to find the crime.

Luckily for them, only an idiot could fail to see the gift staring them in the face. Kavanaugh attended Georgetown Prep, a high-profile elite high school in the Washington DC area. Everyone knows everyone who went there. And one of the students in Kavanaugh’s very class wrote an autobiography claiming that he, Mark Judge, was blind drunk half the time and prone to stuperous blackouts!

Any unrespectable Democrat Party smear merchant operating in DC who couldn’t piece this puzzle together in 5 minutes should be prevented from reproducing as a service to mankind. Kavanaugh’s inclusion on Trump’s list hit Bloomberg News at 4:34 PM on November 17, 2017, and by Happy Hour, Party activists were auditioning candidates to be stuck in a room with Kavanaugh and Georgetown’s Otis Campbell in, oh, some time around 1983.

They settled on an activist California professor, and maybe she was in a room with Mark Judge and somebody trying to rape her 35 years ago. He denies it, but you heard about the book he wrote.

Kavanaugh denies it too, and there is nothing in his apparently sainted life to indicate that we should not believe him. Sixty-five women who have known him since high school have vouched for his character and have never heard of this or any other scandalous accusation against Kavanaugh.

Here’s the part that strains the bounds of credulity: What are the odds that Brett Kavanaugh committed a single, grossly uncharacteristic and heinous crime, and that apart from his accuser the only person in the room is a well-known writer who admitted to being a blackout drunk at Georgetown Prep? This is the stuff of dreams! And boy does Kavanaugh have the darndest luck.

Every smear merchant’s dream is that a confessed blackout drunk be the only witness to an attempted rape by a squeaky-clean, pro-life Trump Supreme Court nominee. But the odds of that are incalculable, unless…

Unless the identity of the drunk is known first, and the victim is found later. Then, the nominee being Republican, it’s a virtual certainty. And the identity of this drunk has been known in the Swamp since his confession in Wasted: Tales of a Gen X Drunk in 1997.

The ground zero of this tale resides at the point where the first Democrat Party opposition researcher realized that Kavanaugh went to school with a guy who wrote a book about not remembering things he did in the 1980s. Placing this guy in a room with the GOP nominee while he is allegedly raping a girl is too tempting, and too easy to pass up.

If the genesis of the accusation was really an unsolicited letter given to a Democrat congresswoman, then the smear artists were asleep at the wheel. But you can bet they were driving the whole time.